15 Toxic Parenting Habits That Need To Change

Toxic parenting can have long-lasting effects on a person’s mental health and relationships. Unfortunately, it can be difficult to recognize when a parent’s behavior is toxic. Luckily, people have shared their experiences and insights on identifying toxic parenting. Based on a thread on identifying toxic parenting, here are some indicators of a toxic parent.

1. Emotionally Manipulative Behavior

A toxic parent may use emotional manipulation to control their child’s behavior. This can include guilt-tripping, using fear tactics, or constantly putting down their child. A parent who is emotionally manipulative may make their child feel like they are never good enough or like they owe their parent something.

2. Inability to Apologize

A toxic parent may refuse to apologize for their mistakes or take responsibility for their actions. This can make it difficult for their child to trust them or feel heard. A parent who is unable to apologize may make their child feel like their feelings don’t matter or like their parent doesn’t care about their wellbeing.

3. Constant Criticism

A toxic parent may constantly criticize their child, making them feel like they can never do anything right. This can damage a child’s self-esteem and make them feel like they are not worthy of love or respect. A parent who is always critical may make their child feel like they can never be successful or happy.

4. Lack of Boundaries

A toxic parent may have difficulty respecting their child’s boundaries or personal space. This can lead to a child feeling like their privacy is constantly being invaded or like they are not allowed to have their own opinions. A parent who lacks boundaries may make their child feel like they are not their own person and must constantly conform to their parent’s expectations.

5. Gaslighting

A toxic parent may use gaslighting tactics to make their child question their own reality. This can include denying past events, making their child doubt their own memories, or constantly changing the story. A parent who gaslights may make their child feel like they are going crazy or like their own thoughts and feelings can’t be trusted.

6. Blaming the Child for Their Emotions

A toxic parent may blame their child for their own emotions, making their child feel like they are responsible for their parent’s happiness. This can lead to a child feeling like they must constantly cater to their parent’s needs or like their own emotions are not valid. A parent who blames their child for their emotions may make their child feel like they are a burden or like they can never do enough to make their parent happy.

7. Physical or Verbal Abuse

A toxic parent may physically or verbally abuse their child, causing lasting trauma and damage. This can include hitting, yelling, or other forms of physical or emotional violence. A parent who is abusive may make their child feel like they are in constant danger or like they must walk on eggshells around their parent to avoid angering them.

8. Micromanaging Behavior

A toxic parent may micromanage their child’s life, leaving little room for the child to make their own decisions. This can make the child feel like they are constantly under surveillance or like they are not trusted to make their own choices. A parent who is micromanaging may make their child feel like they are not capable of taking care of themselves or like they must always seek their parent’s approval.

9. Ignoring Boundaries

A toxic parent may ignore their child’s boundaries or make the child feel like their boundaries are not important. This can lead to a child feeling like they are not respected or like they are not allowed to have their own opinions or beliefs. A parent who ignores boundaries may make their child feel like they are not valued as a person or like their feelings are not important.

10. Competing with Their Child

A toxic parent may compete with their child, whether it’s in academics, sports, or other areas. This can lead to a child feeling like they must constantly prove themselves or like they are not good enough. A parent who competes with their child may make their child feel like they are in constant competition with their own parent, which can damage their relationship and self-esteem.

11. Lack of Empathy or Understanding

If you’re a toxic parent, you may often fail to make an effort to comprehend your child’s difficulties, be it academic, athletic, or any other area of life. Instead of providing support, you resort to complaining and berating, leaving the child feeling unsupported and isolated.

12. Putting Your Needs Before Your Children’s

Another sign of being a toxic parent if you often exhibit narcissistic tendencies by consistently prioritizing your needs over those of your children. This behavior may include neglecting the child’s basic necessities like decent healthcare, clothing, and emotional support.

13. Using Harsh Forms of Punishment

While discipline is a necessary component of parenting, toxic parents resort to harsh and disproportionate forms of punishment. Such punishments may include physical punishment for minor infractions or severe verbal and emotional backlash for simple shortcomings.

14. Purposely Embarrassing Your Kids

Deliberately embarrassing your children (especially among their peers) as a means of asserting control is another sign of being a toxic parent. This harmful tactic is often rooted in the parent’s own insecurities and learned behavior. Purposeful embarrassment generates feelings of shame and fear in the child, emotions that should not exist in a healthy parent-child relationship.

15. Getting Emotional Outbursts Out of Nowhere

If you often get into unpredictable emotional outbursts with your kids, it might be a sign of being a toxic parent. These outbursts, seemingly occurring out of the blue, create an unstable and unpredictable environment. Repeated exposure to such behavior may force your children to avoid being around you whenever they can.