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9 Red Flags A Marriage Is Falling Apart

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In a popular online thread, in-laws were asked to share the moments they realized their kids’ marriages were doomed, and their responses were eye-opening. From secret texts to infidelity and lack of communication, in-laws can see warning signs that their children may be unable or unwilling to acknowledge.

1. The Repeat Cheater

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“Was the sister-in-law. The first time she and I went somewhere together she said, ‘Your brothers kind of been upsetting me off lately. Do you think I should cheat on him again?’ To which I asked if he knew about the others, and she informed me he did not. I told her, ‘He will now.’ They divorced shortly after,” one woman recalled.

2. The Not-So-Covert Gold Digger

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When I asked her what she liked about my brother, she said, “Uhhhhhh…. well, he has a really high-paying job, and he’s good at fixing things, so he’s pretty useful, hahaha!!” She also kept talking about how she was taking time off from medical school, and it became really obvious to me that she was trying to use marriage as a way to drop out of medical school completely and live off of my brother’s money.

3. The Alcoholic Bum

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One daughter-in-law shared her opinion on her mother’s new husband. “So my mother recently married a man that she knew in high school (they didn’t see each other for 20 years, then reunited and got engaged within 3 months). He had no car, no job, and was living with his dad at 40 years old. She didn’t even know he was an alcoholic until after they were engaged. He slurred through the vows at their wedding!”

4. The Complainer

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A brother-in-law shared an experience he had with his sister-in-law. “I was the brother-in-law. She would call me all the time when I lived in Maryland to complain about my brother. When I lost my job and moved back home, she was constantly pulling me aside to have small conversations. When we went out one time, she sat down next to me and asked me which guy in the bar I would be okay with her cheating on my brother with.”

5. The Insensitive Liar

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“The red flags were many (and neon, possibly visible from space), but the biggest one for me was the day I first met her. She was younger than me (my brother is 10+ years my senior), and she asked me if I thought he’d get a credit card with her. She had a laundry list of things she wanted. I did the math, and they were in excess of 10K.

6. The Unreliable Junkie

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“My sister dated a guy for years. It was rocky and not healthy in any way, but it was by far the best relationship she’d ever been in. I was coming around to the possibility that he might become my brother-in-law. She dumped him. 2 weeks later, she moved in with a guy who was still very much the junkie she had been trying to stop being herself.

7. The Angry Nut-Lover

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“It was the holidays, and my sister and her husband were buying gifts at a mall. They stopped at a little cart selling spiced nuts. They bought some. They also each got to have a sample. She was holding both his and hers, and he asked her to hold some stuff for him and to free up her hand; without really thinking, she ate his sample nut. Even though they had just bought a package of them, he lost his mind about it and wouldn’t speak to her for the rest of the day because she ate his sample.

8. The Pre-Wedding Regret

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“Legendary family story is when my aunt was finishing getting ready the morning of her wedding and turned to my mom and said, “I know I’ll regret this.” And walked into the hallway to wait to walk down the aisle. My mom tried to talk to her and tried to talk her out of going ahead with the wedding, but she shooed her off and got married. Within a year, he’d cheated on her, and within a few years, they’d finally divorced.

9. The Man-Hopper

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“My cousin got pregnant at 16 and married the father at 17. They were split up 8 months later and divorced on their one-year anniversary. She proposed to her next boyfriend a few months after that but accused him of cheating on her and broke off the engagement less than two weeks later. She then met and married another man a few years later at age 21, remained married to him for three years, and then filed for divorce, stating that ‘she wanted to divorce him before she did something she would regret.’

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