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10 Expensive Items People Want Absolutely Free of Charge

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You’ve heard the phrase “There’s no such thing as a free lunch,” not even at the Salvation Army. Life is a series of trade-offs. Truly, nothing is entirely free. That said, there are a select few things that, in a fair world, would be widely available without a price tag.

1. Ambulance Rides

Ambulance
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How many victims of serious injuries have turned the EMT away, knowing that the cost of an ambulance ride is roughly enough to purchase an ambulance of one’s own? Too many.

2. Taxpayer-Funded Sports Stadiums

Sports Stadium
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The rare few billionaires who are able to add a professional sports franchise (especially in the NFL, NBA, NHL, or MLB) to their portfolio land one of the most rapidly appreciating assets known to man. Why, then, do taxpayers continually fund multi-billion-dollar stadiums for owners who see much of the benefit through the team’s valuation?

While municipalities own many of the stadiums, and teams pay rent to play in those stadiums, many of the purported economic benefits of taxpayer-funded, modern-day Coliseums fail to outpace the direct cost to the taxpayer.

3. Insulin

Man getting injection
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Especially for those who develop Type-1 diabetes through no fault of their own, having to pay for insulin just doesn’t seem fair. It’s just one of the countless examples of why “healthcare” rhymes with “unfair.”

That might be a coincidence, but still. With a vial of insulin costing nearly $100 (or more) in the United States, diabetics really get shafted. If it were up to me, their glucose-regulating hormone would be free.

4. Preparing and Paying Taxes

Couples budgeting
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Let’s get this straight. We’re already handing over 30% of our hard-earned income for Lord knows what purpose. Then, we have to pay an accountant or spend our precious time ensuring that we’re handing over our hard-earned dollars in a bureaucratically acceptable manner?

And if we don’t spend the money on an accountant or prepare our taxes the right way, we might risk going to jail?

Seems reasonable.

5. Hospital Parking

Man parking car
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When your loved one is laid up with an injury or illness serious enough to warrant a trip to the hospital, you’d hope that the tens of thousands of dollars in medical bills would come with free parking.

Nope, that’ll be $15. Pay up or park across the street. The local hospital’s parking lot isn’t a Monopoly board, so look elsewhere for your free parking.

6. Healthcare

Doctor explaining to patient
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This isn’t some endorsement of socialism or nationalized medicine. Even if you’re an ardent believer in free markets, you have to admit your taxes aren’t doing much for you. At the very least, it seems reasonable that the duties you fork over year after year should pay for a couple of trips to urgent care or at least your annual physical.

This is the sort of ROI Americans have been missing for decades.

7. Compressed Air at the Gas Station

Man calibrating car tire
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Gas station owners with a conscience throw customers a bone, offering compressed air at no cost. They want to sell gas, not see five-car pileups caused by tire blowouts.

Other station owners, who see emergency resources as a means of making an extra quarter, make customers pay to air up their tires. That’s downright un-American and the peacetime equivalent of war profiteering. It’s air profiteering, and it has to stop.

8. Death

Funerals
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Between the medical bills, casket, flowers, and ceremony, you can’t even die without forking over fifteen thousand bucks or more. So much for “let me die in peace.” How about “Let me die for free?” What do you think? Does the average funeral director really care about sending our loved ones off in style, or is the death industrial complex just as profit-driven as any other sector?

9. Water

Mineral water
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Water ain’t free even in Flint, Michigan, and Jackson, Mississippi. That’s right, red-blooded Americans must pay for brown-colored “water.” If America’s H2O were a musician, it would be Muddy Waters. With all of the United States’ economic might (rapidly fading as it appears to be), the fact that Americans pay for chemical-riddled tap water seems as inexplicable as the tax code.

10. College Transcripts

College student with books
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The harder you look, the more you’ll see how rampant double-charging is in our society. You paid tuition and earned the grades, but you have to pay another fee to get a copy of those grades? If American institutions know anything, it’s how to keep the “fee” in “freedom.”

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